Any Excuse for Cake!

Mel at Stirrup Queens is a dynamo, who is the center of the online ALI community. Without her facilitation, we'd all be fumbling around looking for others like us. Her organizational skills and ability to connect us to each other make the internet a far more friendly place.

I love the Friday Round-up - it gives me a chance to read a variety of posts that I may not necessarily find on my own. Thanks, Mel, for being a hyper-organized speed reader with a very warm heart and a gift for summarizing emotional posts!

Here are the cupcakes my daughter picked out. I ate most of them.



Happy 300/200! Keep 'em coming!

Reading challenge

TwangyPearl inspired (challenged? suckered?) me to start reading Ulysses by James Joyce. So far, I've had the book for 9 weeks...oops - make that 10. There was that one week that the book was overdue before I remembered to renew it at the library. I'm approximately halfway through. There are some pretty hilarious things in this book, but it's hard work to read it. Generally, I can read 4-7 books in three weeks. 10 weeks means that normally, I would have given up by now, but I'm determined to finish it.

Coincidentally, today I got an email from Border's Books notifying me that there was an eReader that I could download for my phone. In the email, the magic words "many free books" caught my eye. So, of course I downloaded the eReader. Due to the renewal situation vs my increasingly leaky memory, the first thing I searched for was Ulysses. And, Lo and Behold! It was a free book! Hurray!

Unfortunately, there is apparently no way to search through the book. You have to scroll through page by page. So I got a little refresher on the first half of the book as I scrolled through to the correct place. From this, I arrived at two conclusions...well, let's make that three.

1. It would probably have been useful to have read the Odyssey before reading Ulysses. What I remember from Edith Hamilton's Mythology from 25 years ago is close to nothing.

2. Ulysses might be more enjoyable and engaging as a book on tape. Some of the names and descriptions just beg to be read aloud. Also, a differentiation between the characters who are speaking would frequently be helpful.

3. Joyce was clearly drinking while he wrote this. You could probably pick out the progression of his days from each segment. There is a definite pattern: Clear story with gorgeous descriptions and random characters (sober), followed by main characters performing something vaguely plot-like (couple of drinks), followed by side characters gathering to drink (a little tipsy), followed by mild political rant (a decent buzz), followed by long list of nonsensical names or random words (full-on inebriation). Then there's hangover day where main characters again do something vaguely plot-like, and then either they cycle repeats or the chapter ends.

So, thanks, there, Twangy. Even as I struggle to read this book, I am amused not only by the book itself but also by the style, and even by my lack of knowledge (because I am totally getting the online Cliffs Notes when I finally finish, so I can figure out what the hell I read). I think an international pseudo book club is an excellent idea!

What kind of message are they sending my child?

We spend a lot of time watching the Disney channel around our house. (I know - I'm supposed to limit my child's TV intake to 20 minutes every 2 years, blah, blah, blah. Totally beside the point here) I know the entire morning line-up (or I did, until they changed it last week). I even change to that channel at work so I can catch Shaun the Sheep before I have to start working. Today, during the 700th rerun of a particular Mickey Mouse episode, I can no longer hold it in. I think some of the messages that they send are dead wrong.

In this particular episode, Pluto is competing in some dog championship event against Butch the Bulldog. Everything is fine until the final event, which is a swimming competition. Pluto paddles across the pool, but just before he gets to the finish line, he notices that Butch is flailing in the water. So, Pluto goes back to save him. Mickey and friends throw a life preserver to Butch, and Pluto pushes him to the finish line. Butch, therefore, crosses the finish line first and wins the doggie games. But, since Butch is such a good sport, he splits his star with Pluto and they both win.

I don't know why I find this episode so disturbing. I guess it's because I have an over-developed sense of fair, and I don't think it's fair to Pluto. Butch should not be given a win when he didn't do the required work to get to the finish line. I guess they're playing on the Cars theme (where Lightning McQueen gives up the Piston Cup to help The King cross the finish line), but they missed it in this case. It's great that Pluto helped Butch - excellent message...help your friends when they need it, regardless of the cost to yourself. But to let Butch win the swimming competition because he crossed the finish line first? Ridiculous. Also, for Butch to share his star? Half-assed at best. A good sport will give up his star when he knows that someone else did the real work. My perfect ending, I guess, would be Pluto winning the whole thing and then sharing his prize with Butch. That would show good sportsmanship.

I also don't understand why Special Agent Oso, Mr. Lopart from Handy Manny, and all of the Imagination Movers have to be so completely clueless all the time. I guess it's for comedic effect, but I think you can be funny and intelligent at the same time. I guess it's also to try and convey the sense of wonder that we hope our kids experience while learning new things, but again, I think this could be done a different way.

I just wish PBS would put on the pre-schooler programming during our TV watching time. Instead, they play the things I'd like my daughter to watch during lunchtime and nap time.

Homes

Eden posted about the meaningful homes in her life and asked others to do the same.

I have only lived in 7 places in my 41 years. My parents moved into our house a couple months before I was born and I lived there (more or less) until I was 27. It was a lovely house with plenty(ish) of room for 6 people, although not by today's standards. I shared a room with one of my sisters. That didn't work out too well. But we survived. Here's a screen capture from Go.ogle earth of our 1 1/2 story convertible, which has been squashed flat (click to enlarge) by Go.ogle. What's missing is the beautiful maple tree that used to be in front of the house. I don't know why people cut down trees. Also, there were many trees in the back yard, which now appears to have been paved over in favor of a pool We were multi-taskers...we had a pool AND trees.


Next, I went to college, where I lived in the dorms for 2 years. No pictures, because everything has changed there. But, Denver was beautiful, and the mountains were breathtaking.

I returned from Denver to finish college at home, and then I got a job, and then I got another job. This job required me to move to The Middle Of Nowhere for training. Here's another screen capture

I had the end apartment, circled in red. These apartments, last remodeled sometime in the 1970s, had carpeted kitchens, electric heat and appliances, and loud neighbors. Two of my neighbors were coworkers, and they were kind enough to rename all the rest of the neighbors for us. Next to me was Journey neighbor, who was a college student that liked to play Journey loud enough for everyone to hear. Next to her was one of my coworkers. Next to my coworker were the domestic violence neighbors. I'm sure you can guess why they earned that name. Across the way, I had the TV people - all the young reporters who worked at the local TV stations crowded into a 2 bedroom apartment. For some reason, the next apartment was always vacant. Next was my other coworker's place. Finally, there was ADHD kid, who lived with his mother and 2 sisters. He was known for trying to feel up the coworker that lived next door to him, and for letting my dog off her leash. We were not fond of that kid.

After my training adventure was complete, I moved back home. I wanted to buy a place next. After about 6 months of looking, I found a lovely condo/loft in an old factory. It came with garage parking, and a separate bedroom, with loads of brick walls (my unit had the distinction of being the smallest in the building and the old boiler room). It was 10 minutes from work, even in traffic (which is a miracle in Chicago!). It was a short bus ride downtown. It had a beautiful roof deck, and if you looked between the high rises, you could see the fireworks over the lake. I loved it there. But then, I met my husband, and he wanted to return to his hometown. So we moved. Here's another screen capture of my building:


My husband and I bought a beautiful house in his hometown. I loved that house, even though the back yard sloped down to a sinkhole. It had 4 bedrooms, including a beautiful master suite. The kitchen was fantastic. It was close to everything. But, my husband likes to wander, and the housing market was hitting its top, so we moved on.




Our next place was only temporary - a place to stay while my husband built our house. It was close to work, close to shopping, but on a quiet street. Since we were only staying a few months (it ended up being 9!), I got a Post Office Box for our mail. That was the address I furnished to our workplace. At the time, I had a supervisor who was...well, a bit of an asshole. No, that's not really fair to assholes...he's a complete donkey dick (as my husband likes to call him). He hates me; I hate him. Coincidentally, he lives 2 blocks west of our transient row house (lots of turnover in these apartments, so I call it Transient Row). One Sunday morning, as I was walking over to the local school to run on their track, he and his family pulled out of their subdivision in his pickup truck. He saw me walking down the street. Coincidentally, on Monday, he started asking for my husband and my physical address. He claimed that it was required, that a PO Box was inadequate. We asked him to show us the directive where this was written. Next he sent off a big email saying that he needed to know our address because what if we had a gas leak and no one could reach us? And what if there was a state emergency and someone needed to come to our house? We replied that, Thank you very much, but we don't have gas service, we're all electric, and if there were an emergency, the Feds would be coming for my husband and would have first priority over the state (since he's in the Army). We won that battle.


Finally, we moved to our current house. My husband was the general contractor and frequent laborer. He put in hardwood floors and did all the landscaping. He finished the basement, and helped put on the roof. Now, he's working on the bathroom...

This photo doesn't show much of our house, but you do get a nice view of the garage and the snow from 2007-2008. We've been here for 5 years now, and I'm not sure how much longer we'll be staying. I love this house because we built it and because it's the first house my daughter lived in. But I'm sure we'll be able to create great memories wherever we go.

It's Spring...time for home improvement projects!

My husband has been doing some major home improvement projects lately. First, he tiled the mud/laundry room. Then he did all the spring clean-up in the yard - creating a new flower bed in the back, trimming the bushes and trees, adding dirt and mulch, etc.

His next project is to redo the master bathroom with marble tile. He'll be starting with the area around the bathtub. Here are some before pictures (well, after deconstruction, before refinishing):






When the bathroom is complete, it will be quite beautiful. In the meantime, my husband has lots of work to do. My contribution will be...staying out of his way.

In the middle of these projects, nature and the weather gave us another project to complete. Five years ago, we bought a mini rose to put at the corner of the house. It had these fabulous clusters of pink roses, and stood less than a foot tall. My mom called it a Seven Sisters Rose. At the end of the first season, there was one odd branch that had grown out of the base. We left it. The next year we had a few more of the odd branches. By the next year, the odd branches had completely overtaken the mini rose and killed it off, and we had to build an arbor to hold up the odd branches. This year, the weight of the monster rose bush combined with the wind ripped the arbor completely apart. We had to rebuild the arbor (using screws instead of nails, and sinking the supports a foot into the ground).

I think the rose will take down the house next. Therefore, I nominate this monster rose bush to win Aunt Becky's Nobel Prize for Awesomeness. I think she was thinking that people would win that prize, but a rose that is attempting to take over the earth ought to qualify!




At least it's a very pretty monster...

It's true...

I'm an addict.

Our computer network at work was down today. I felt restless and completely unsettled all day. I had plenty of work to do that didn't require a computer, but I was still twitchy. Sigh.

How addicted are you?

An open letter to Kodak

Dear Kodak,

I just want to say up front that I hate photography. Unfortunately, I must take photographs as part of my job. It's fairly easy - black and white film, fine detail, close up 1:1 shots. However, you are making my life much more difficult than it needs to be.

In the beginning, it was fun. I was given a camera and some 35mm film and told to go out and take some photos. We even took a field trip to the state park nearby. I took some shots of the lake on the wildlife preserve near my apartment, and something odd happened when I developed my print, giving it an wonderful, ethereal quality. I was...intrigued. But then we got down to business, and I started taking those shots of evidence. Loading 4X5 film in the dark. Bracketing shots to get the right exposure. Developing the film by hand - takes too long to send it off to a processor. Learning to do everything by touch.

Of course, the honeymoon had to end sometime. Standing at a land camera setup for hours on end, taking shot after shot, trying to get them right. Standing in the darkroom for hours on end, trying to stay awake in complete blackness. Develop, agitate for 5-7 minutes, stop bath, fixer for 10. Go back and do it all again, because the shot wasn't exactly right. And the film. Well, it was awful. TMax - too much gray. CPO and Kodalith - good for contrast, but will not record shots taken with a laser, because those films don't see red or orange.

And then...and then I met TechPan. I loved it. And then I met Ektapan. I loved it even more. The contrast! The grayscale too! The development time! These films were wonderful. A UV shot that used to require a 3 minute exposure was now reduced to 30 seconds. Laser shots were a second or less. And the images were so clear - not like that muddy TMax. Development times of 30 seconds to 3 minutes. They were so wonderful.

But, Kodak, you screwed me over. You decided that we were no longer important - us film-using technophobes. (Well, we're not really technophobes - we just work for one of the most cash-deprived states in the US.) Anyway, film was not part of your business plan, so you started discontinuing things bit by bit. I understand. You were embracing the digital era. First to go was CPO. I didn't miss you much. Next was Ektapan My UV shots went long again. But I still had TechPan. And then you took away my Kodalith and TechPan. I had to resort to some film made in Czechoslovakia instead of my beloved TechPan! And the replacement for Kodalith doesn't even fit in our film holders. The film holders are a standard size - why can't the film makes figure that out?

I realize that 4X5 sheet film is not exactly a hot commodity, but we need this film. At least until our lab gets its digital equipment, anyway. Which will be next year at the earliest. If the state raises taxes or something. In the meantime, couldn't you have sold the formula for these films to a rival? It's not like you're going to go back in time, Kodak, and start making film again. Think of us - we who are stuck taking pictures for preservation of evidence! None of your former competitors can make a comparable product, and so we're the ones who suffer. Reopen production or sell your formula. Help us out. Please.

Love,

A Sad Forensic Scientist Who Hates Photography. And owns a Canon digital camera for home use.

Show And Tell - Stealing Mel's idea

Today, Mel is showing paint samples. Five years ago, at this time of year, paint samples were a large part of my life, and led to a most interesting Easter weekend...

My husband built our house. He was the general contractor, sure, but he also helped with the framing. He and I installed insulation and wiring. He supervised the drywall hanging. Then we hired someone to do the drywall finishing (mud and tape) and painting.

In case you haven't ever dealt with this sector of the population, it's difficult to find a reliable subcontractor. Our drywall finisher and his son did the mudding and taping, and applied the finish to the ceiling. They started painting - complaining the whole time that I had chosen semi-gloss. You know why contractors choose flat paint? Aside from the fact that it's cheap, it's also very forgiving, so if the drywall finish isn't perfect, it's not so noticeable. The more gloss you add, the more the imperfections stand out. For a couple days, the painting was going on. The ceilings were finished, and the Friday before Easter, we made a rookie mistake. Since the job was just about finished, we paid out the remainder of the contract.

The check got cashed shortly before we went to the house to see it. I had chosen what I thought was a soft oatmeal color - neutral and light/bright - for most of the house. For the bathrooms, I chose a dark sage type color. For the dining room, I wanted a dark red.

What I got in the house, instead of a neutral tone with a dark red accent, was a carnival funhouse. The oatmeal color turned out to be a pale yellow - pleasant, but not exactly right for the whole house. The painter had only applied two coats of the red (one of which was mixed with primer), so it was a lovely hot pink. The greenish color in the bathrooms was OK on it's own, but combined with the other colors...it just wasn't pretty. My husband freaked out. I cried. The painter had vanished with our money, and we got a pretty accurate gut feeling that he wasn't coming back - it was a holiday weekend, and he had just gotten paid.

So off we went to the Home Depot, where we tried to pick another color. We had to repaint, because it needed to be finished and dried before the next weekend. That's when the guys were coming to install the crown molding. I wanted a beige color, but thought it would be too dark. The nice lady at Home Depot finally told us how to get an accurate idea of what the color would look like on the walls. I don't know why this works, but it does...

Take a sample of pure white and cut a square right in the middle. Put the color you think you like in the middle of the square. It will give it a much different tone, and allow you to get a better idea of the color than just the paint sample itself. If you want an accent color, put your main color and the accent side by side in the cut-out square.

So, my husband and I painted for an entire weekend. We put 2 coats of beige on the main room, kitchen and master bedroom. We put about 6-8 coats of red on the dining room. It turned out very nicely. If my DVD drive worked, I would post some pictures of the colors.

Lessons learned: Never pick colors that are too light. Never pay anyone until you are satisfied with the finished project. Never let me choose the colors.

Go see what everyone else is showing and telling this week!

Show and Tell

My husband is safely home now, but last December he was in Afghanistan. While he was there, he visited the market and brought me these beautiful items, made of lapis lazuli.



According to Wikipedia, lapis lazuli is "a relatively rare, semi-precious stone that has been prized since antiquity for its intense blue color." The best lapis lazuli is found in northeastern Afghanistan. Click on the picture to enlarge, and you will see a series of stones tiled together. The variations in the stone are calcium and pyrite (fool's gold) deposits.

Please visit Mel and see who else is participating in Show and Tell this week!

Show and Tell - My Valentines

Last week, my husband spent several days harassing me about Valentine's Day. See, he's been at home for the last month - taking care of the house, doing the laundry, making dinner, cleaning, you name it. So, naturally, he told me that he wanted flowers and candy for Valentine's Day. I was considering my options. I had heard an ad on the radio for a good deal on roses (with free candy! and free shipping!), or maybe I'd just pick up a heart shaped box of chocolates. Last Tuesday, when I got home from work, I was playing with our daughter. She and my husband had drawn me a picture of a house with some flowers in front of it earlier in the week. She gave it to me again, and said "We got you some flowers!" I had an inkling that she might not be referring to the picture, but I said, "Yes, I see. They're very beautiful!" And she said, "No, Daddy and I got you flowers." I pointed to the flowers in the picture. "No, Mommy. We got you flowers on the computer." At which point, I turned to my husband and said "I think she just ratted you out!"

On Thursday (my last official work day of the week, because we had a holiday on Friday), I received my flowers from the computer. He even got the flowers that came with free chocolates!




So, what did I get him for Valentine's day? Well, I had a couple coupons for some free stuff, so he got a bag of Stacy's pita chips and and a bag of Golden Double Stuff Oreos. Because my husband appreciates free stuff more than anything!

Don't forget to see what the rest of the class is showing!

Equations

When I was younger, I used to be smart. I took advanced math classes in 8th grade, so that I would be able to jump right in to higher math in high school. When I was a freshman, I was scheduled for Algebra II with the 6 or so other girls that I knew from my advanced classes. My mom, thinking she was doing me a favor, had me transferred into the Honors Algebra II class, where I was the only freshman in a room full of juniors. I stood out like a sore thumb. So, it was actually a little bit scary when I got the highest score on the test for the first section we studied.

That section was programming in BASIC. Way back then, that was the only language suitable for high schoolers to be taught. It made perfect sense to me, because much of the language was if/then format. It was logical. If this happens, then that will follow. Simple.

Lately I have found many people attempting to apply the if/then format to life. It makes me absolutely crazy, because it is a fruitless exercise to try and apply logic to life and, more importantly, to emotions. My husband likes to tell me that he can't understand what I could possibly be stressed about. I have a beautiful daughter, I have a nice house, I have a good job - everything in my life is perfect. He's applying the if/then format to my life - according to him, if your life meets a certain criteria, then there is nothing that you should be unhappy about. However, he is a highly stressed person. I attempted to explain to him that based on his own criteria, he should have no stress in his life either. He has all the things I do (plus a lovely wife who takes good care of him!).

Apparently, this is also running rampant through the blogosphere. Shannon is experiencing it. Baby Smiling in Back Seat got a dose too. Mrs. Spit is experiencing it too. It must be a phase of the moon or something.

There is no if/then equation in life. I am more than grateful to have my daughter. But she is stubborn as a mule and I hear more arguments than the Supreme Court. Constant conflict beats gratefulness into submission many days. I love her more than anything. And she drives me crazy. Some days, when she has screamed "No" at me for the thousandth time, I fantasize about selling her to the gypsies (which she might actually prefer, after having read Madeline and the Gypsies many times) To pretend otherwise would be foolish and unfair to both of us. When I tell other people about her foibles, they give me the benefit of their experience. That helps me relax and ride out the tantrums a little more easily. If I had the opinion that I needed to take everything she dishes out with a smile on my face, because I am so lucky that she made it through alive, my head would explode. She would never get proper discipline, and she would be a wild, bossy, unmanageable, unlikeable kid. If I couldn't discuss her bad behavior with others, because by doing so I would negate the struggle I went through to have her, I would never learn different techniques for dealing with her.

Life does not conform to simple if/then equations. Emotions and reactions are rarely based in logic. I do have one if/then equation to apply though.

If you try to tell me that I should feel a certain way based on your value judgements or lack of information, then I am likely to visit violence upon you.

Show and Tell - Farm Life

My husband dreams of running a farm. This provides some conflict with my minimum living requirements (city water and city sewers), so he must look elsewhere for someone to share his dream. I've always known that my daughter was very similar to her father, but this past weekend, I found out that she even shares his interest in farming.

We went to my SIL's house for lunch - we hadn't been there in a while, and didn't know that they had added a sheep to their chicken collection. When my SIL's husband offered to take the kids out to see the sheep, my daughter was practically beside herself with excitement.



You may notice that my daughter is running after the sheep - she must have chased him around for 20 minutes. She also renamed him - she was calling him Fartigo (FAR-dee-go). His name is Smoky. This is another thing she has in common with her father - she's always making up new nicknames for people and things.

Now go and see what everyone else is bringing to Show and Tell.

Visiting the past

I went home for a Christmas celebration last weekend. It was very rushed, but a good time, nonetheless. It was nice to see my sisters, my mom, and my nieces and nephews. It was also mass chaos, with 11 people sleeping* in the house.

While I was home, I also decided to meet up with some people that I last saw at our 8th grade graduation ceremony. One girl sent me a friend request on Facebook, and before you knew it, there were 5 or 6 of us trying to arrange a mini reunion. Reconnecting with your childhood is a very strange and wonderful thing. Because it was a small group and because it's been 27 years, there were no lingering tensions. Everyone was simply pleased to see everyone else, meet spouses, hear about lives and children, and gossip about those who were not there.

At some point during the night, I went outside to talk to my husband on my cell phone. It was a cold night (22 degrees with a brutal wind chill), and I was huddled against the wind. Three young men (maybe legal, but certainly not of drinking age) walked by and one of them suggested that maybe I would like him to help me warm up. He even opened his coat to invite me over. It made me laugh, but also made me feel young again.

While giving a brief overview of my life, I came to a realization. At least for me, all of the things that I've experienced have been necessary to get me to life as I know it. If I had married earlier and tried to start a family, I would have gone through a great many more miscarriages before I would have been able to seek additional help. If I had not wasted my 20s on a loser, I would not have been available when I met my husband.

That experiences prepare you for life is not exactly a stunning realization. But these things weren't exactly experiences that shaped who I am - they were more like placeholders to get me to the points where I needed to be in order to get the life I have. I think this is a little more palatable to me - I don't care to think of myself as being the sum of my experiences. I'd prefer that my experiences are just the scenery along the path of my life. I remain essentially unchanged. I am still the slightly obnoxious, socially inept but somewhat likeable, smart girl that I was when I was 13.

I guess I now know why I don't feel like I'm 40. At heart, I am still that 13 year old girl, with a lot less fear, a little more knowledge and understanding, and the same amount of patience (none). It's a good feeling to know that you're still the same, no matter how much you've changed.

*Well, some people were sleeping. I was not one of them. The first night, I awoke after 2 hours of sleep to find that my air bed had deflated and my nose was cold (my sister is the energy miser - she turns the heat down to 60 at night). I proceeded to spend the rest of that night and the next night sharing a twin bed with a 3 year old bed hog who really likes to sleep with her arm pressed tightly around your neck. Makes breathing difficult and sleep about impossible.

Turns out, I'm not as good at complaining as I thought I was

December has not been a great month...for those around me. I want to whine about it, but while I'm feeling the stress of all the misfortunes of those around me, I am not actually experiencing them. Therefore, I cannot complain.

I can complain about my family though. My mom is putting the holiday pressure on. My sister is putting the holiday pressure on. My other sister is making rude remarks to me on Facebook. Eh, it's all par for the course in my family.

So, I'm trying to readjust my attitude. I'm almost done Christmas shopping - just have the daycare teachers left. My girl will be getting some fun stuff for Christmas. I will spend the weekend baking cookies for the neighbors (and myself!). I will meet a friend for lunch on Monday. I will appreciate that I am in my lovely home (and not in an inhospitable place, like my husband). I will appreciate that I am basically healthy, except for the cough (unlike my FIL, whose cancer has returned). I will appreciate that I have plenty of choices on where to go for the holidays, because that means my daughter has many people who love her. I will try to appreciate that I have a job (even though I can't seem to get much done lately) because so many people do not.

There will be no complaining here.

XPOL

I can't figure out how to schedule this post to show up on the 9th, but it's less than 2 hours away, and the Grandmaster has already started the ball rolling down under...





The “assignment” for cross-pollination day is to introduce oneself to the readers of someone else’s blog. I can usually follow the heck out of some rules, but this one is a little tricky. This assignment requires me to know who I am and what my blog is about, and this has all become a little murky for me lately.

I fall into the same uncertain blog territory as many mommy bloggers who have roots in infertility. I don’t know what to blog about now that I’m not waiting to test, mourning a BFN, or rallying my hopes for another go ‘round. I’m hesitant to share too much about life with my son for fear I will alienate, or worse, injure my friends who are still in the ttc trenches. I spent enough time there myself to know how painful it can be to watch others get their ticket out, then send postcards about how it is so much better than they ever imagined.

In addition to that, I feel as if I’m redefining myself a bit as well, or at least figuring out how to move through the new world I find myself in. For the first time in my adult life, I don’t feel like I’m reaching for something. My life has been mission-driven for nearly a decade: First there was undergrad, then grad school, then planning our wedding, then trying to get pregnant. Each phase emerged seamlessly from the one that preceded it, and each included a massive, all-consuming project that absorbed my every free minute, thought, and action. These projects have defined me.

And now, I’m just… here. I’m exactly where I’ve always wanted to be. My career is established and I am well-respected within my field. I have a stable, fulfilling relationship with my partner who just happens to be the most amazing person I know. We own a comfortable home in a great neighborhood, and we have a happy, healthy little boy. I guess you could say I’ve arrived. This is very unfamiliar territory for me. Of course I’d love to move more money into savings, have a cleaner house, eat healthier and work out more. Oh, and while I’m at it, I’d like to win the lottery too, please. Okay? Okay.

But seriously, there are actual, less cliche goals on my horizon. I want Elliot to have a sibling and we’re hoping to relocate to be closer to family, but we have some time before we have to start thinking seriously about either of those things. I’d like to run (er… jog? power walk?) a 5k, become a CASA volunteer, and visit Prague. All of these things are on my agenda, but they’re not hanging over me every single day as ttc and pregnancy were.

I feel a need to embrace my current status out of respect for my fellow bloggers who are still ttc and so desperately long for what I have, as well as for the younger me who spent years toiling and sacrificing to get here. I owe it to all of these people to revel in this a bit. This feels really foreign, but if that’s the biggest challenge I’m facing – learning to just be present and appreciate the wonderful moment I’m in – I have no business complaining about a thing.

Well? Have you figured out who wrote this excellent guest post? Go and visit here and find out. While you're there read some hilarious, touching, and otherwise wonderful stuff!

Aunt Becky is giving stuff away and I had to work for it

Aunt Becky is giving away a book. But she's mean and makes people work for it. Or maybe she just wants to know stuff about me. She also wanted me to post a button on my blog, but I can't due to question # 2...

So, here are her interview questions and my answers:

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?

No - they irritate my teeth like tinfoil on a filling.

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why?

whore. Hate that word. I don't even know why. Second is panties.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be?

Cranky. It is too a flavor.

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis?

Dude, my husband would be so happy if I did any chore on a daily/weekly basis. So, in order to meet that criteria, I'm going to have to go with...um...waking up. That I do religiously every day, and most of the time, it's annoying and pointless because I do it far earlier than I would like. (If you would like to change daily/weekly to occasionally, then it's totally dusting. Especially on a sunny day, because I can see those f'ing dust motes floating in the air, waiting for me to leave, so they can settle right back to the place from which I just removed them. Fuckers.)

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself)

Aimless

6) Your stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they?

REM, U2, The Cure, Beethoven, and all the Now That's What I Call Music CD's for some variety (I hope they made a disco version, because everyone needs a little disco every now and then).

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false?

False. I know, blasphemy. But, much bacon has liquid smoke, and I think I'm allergic to that. Smoked stuff gives me gas. Aren't you glad you asked?

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self?

You can get anything you want, you have all the tools to do it. Recognize those tools and use them, and maybe you'll have some more adventures. Spend some time studying in college, because playing Hearts and Spades well is not a marketable skill. Also, do not waste your 20s on someone who you don't care that much about. But, waiting for the man you really love will ultimately be worth it. Even if you do bicker constantly.

Random Thoughts from my crazy brain

Did you know that, to men, there is such a thing as a boob hug? Apparently that happens when a girl hugs you tightly enough to press her boobs against you. This information makes me very happy that I'm not a touchy-feelie type of person.

Have you ever perused the sample sale sites? Like Ruelala, or Hautelook, or Ideeli? (If you want an invite, email me - I get bonuses for herding new people into the nets! For full disclosure, I have never earned a bonus, because I don't bother people with crap like that. Anyway...) Sometimes, the clothes that the models are wearing are completely unflattering. I'm not sure who does the photo selections for these sites, but if the model looks fat or uncomfortable or just kinda silly, go back and take another photo. I'm certainly not going to buy anything that makes a human clothes hanger look fat. I can't even imagine what that would do to my petite yet slightly sturdy shape. ETA: Look at the following outfit...where exactly do you wear this? In my view, if it's cold enough to wear tights and boots, it's too cold for short shorts!



Compare these two pictures:



In the first one, the model looks like she's wearing a stylish swing cape. It's fun and frivolous (although I couldn't pull off a cape to save my life). In the second one, the model seems embarassed to be wearing an ugly rug. If not for the black shirt, I'd think she was naked and her ass was hanging out the back.



I think I'm going to take up saying "anyhoodle." I often wander off topic, so I will get plenty of opportunities to use it.

I'm pretty sure that when you're actually middle aged, you don't have any concept that you've hit middle age. Based on the average life expectancy, middle age hits around age 36. When I was 36, I was still a newlywed. I was considering starting a family. I was young! Don't turn 40, or it's possible that you will start pondering stuff like this.

Did you ever work with someone who is desperate to be your friend so he/she can control you? I work with a woman like that. I know she doesn't like me, but she can't stand for me to not be her buddy. So she tries to do stuff for me. It makes me very uncomfortable.

Why doesn't the Discovery Channel (or TLC or NatGeo or History) limit their programming productions to 30 minutes? If they did that, I wouldn't have to listen to endless recaps of the previously presented information after every commercial break.

Show and Tell

Today I am in the mood for a little Fawlty Towers...my favorite sitcom of all time.

Please enjoy a little politically incorrect humor:



And then go and see what everyone else has for Show and Tell

Show and Tell

My favorite neighbors moved away last Friday. They retired to Florida. I will miss having someone who is kind and generous and connected to everyone in the community right next door. My daughter will miss her friends next door (who she wanted to visit EVERY DAY) and their dog. My husband will miss having someone who comes out to mow the lawn every time he does because there might be a quarter inch difference in the grass heights (they both appreciate a well tended lawn). All in all, our former neighbors are excellent people, and whoever lives near them will be the better for it.

On Halloween, our new neighbors started moving in. My husband is out of town, so I sent him some video of our daughter before we went trick or treating. She was walking down the driveway, dancing and singing. Then she ran to the back yard. Then she ran to the front porch to hide. It was a little more than a minute of low resolution video (suitable for email). After asking what our girl was singing, the second thing my husband noticed was this (which is approximately 2 frames of the 1 minute video - i.e. less than 2 seconds):



Are you wondering what is exceptional about this particular frame? Check the upper right corner for the jacked up (lifted) Tahoe. That's not exactly what we're used to seeing in our subdivision. We're thinking that our new neighbors will be MUCH different than our old neighbors. I hope we'll be just as happy with them living next door as we were with our old neighbors. We expect them to be a good addition to our block - they have a 3 year old daughter too!


Join everyone else at Mel's Show and Tell

All We Need Is A Little Love!

All we need is a little LOVE! This award is about sisters uniting together and giving others some love because life is hard and who couldn't use a little love? The rules for this award is simple. 
I LOVE YOU = 8 letters which gives you 8 rules :)



Here are the rules:


1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.


3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.


4. Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17, not sure?) who you love or you think could use some love.


5. Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.

6. You cannot nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all.


7. Post links to the blogs you nominate.


8. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

I'm thanking Wishing 4 One, who nominated me. I love her blog because she's living an adventure in an exotic place. As a home-loving Midwestern girl, I can't imagine the courage it takes to do that kind of thing.

I nominate the following people:

1. Mama Said Knock You Out Honest
2. Mountain Momma Chronicles Similar
3. Subfertile Myrtle Hilarious
4. Bottoms Off and On The Table (Can't choose one word...Videos? Cartoons? Puppy? Sharing ability?)
5. Edenland Highchair
6. A Sense Of Humor is Essential Giving