Saturday, January 10, 2009

To continue the mailbox theme

When we were building our house, we had to submit plans to a committee to get the plans approved. Well, our original contractor was a complete fuckwit (more on that another time) and submitted the least professional house drawing ever known to man. So, of course, the committee would not approve the plan. The contractor refused to send them anything different, so my husband found a picture in one of those house plan books that he liked and submitted it. The plan based on that picture was approved.

The committee consists of a married couple in our subdivision, Bob and Nancy. They are also the keepers of the mailboxes. Apparently, the subdivision bought a bulk supply of mailboxes, and you are given one free one when you build your house, but you have to get it from Bob and Nancy.

As we were building our house, we had some slight deviations from the plans that were submitted. Since the deviations involved changing a window from one with an arch over the middle to one without an arch, I didn't see it as any major deal for which I needed to get approval from the committee. We were still well within the specifications for appearance/size/amount of brick that are set in the covenants. So, we were very close to finishing the house. We had already moved in. The only thing we needed to do was to get some decorative arches and posts installed on our front porch. We were in the process of getting bids for this job.

Since we had moved in, I decided it would be a good time to get a mailbox. So, I called Bob and Nancy. They told me to stop by, so I went to their house, thinking I would get a mailbox. When I got there, they told me that they didn't have the mailboxes there, they were in storage. But, had I received the letter that they had sent me? I had not received the letter, so they got me a copy. Then they told me that they would drop off the mailbox at the weekend.

The letter was a notice that we were not conforming to our plan and the window was not correct. At this point, the window in question had been bricked in for 5 months. So, we read the letter and then laughed and said "There's nothing we can do about it now."

Along came Saturday. The doorbell rang and my husband answered it. It was Bob and Nancy. They had our mailbox, Nancy told him, but they wouldn't give it to us until we had addressed the issues in the letter. My husband said that if we had received the letter at such a time when we could have done anything about it, maybe we could do something, but it was way too late now. So Nancy told him that we had to comply with the approved plan or the subdivision would not approve us moving in. J told her that the subdivision couldn't really stop us from moving in, since the village had already approved the build. He also told her that we were in compliance with the covenants as far as the appearance went, so he didn't know why she was making such a big deal about it. So, Nancy, who is a woman that doesn't like to be challenged, said that we would have to change according to the original plan or the subdivision would sue us. My husband told her that he didn't think the subdivision would approve of wasting money in that fashion, but if that's the way she wanted it, she could go ahead and sue. And by the way, J told her, you can get off my property or I will call the police and have you removed.

So, as this discussion was going on, Bob and I were just standing there. Bob would try to intervene in the argument, but J and Nancy pretty much ignored him. Once J threatened to call the police, I turned to Bob and said, "It looks like this discussion is getting a little too heated. Maybe you and I can reach some sort of resolution." At this point, I was treated to the ultimate in asinine male behavior. He ignored my statement and said, "Look, J, we can work this out." So, I said, "Fine, if that's the way you want it," and I turned around and opened the front door to go inside. Then he decided to backtrack and try to deal with the only remaining rational person there (Me!).

So, he took out the original drawing and started pointing out all the things that were wrong with the house. First was the window. I told him that I had decided to change the window because I didn't like the one in the drawing. Regardless, if he had wanted the window changed, he should have let us know before the brick went on. It was too late to do it now. Then he pointed out that the windows were supposed to have shutters. I said, again that was my decision but we can put shutters on if you're going to insist on it. Then he told me that there was supposed to be molding under the soffit all along the house. Because I was pissed at that point, I refused to acknowledge that what he was pointing at in the picture was molding. I said it was just the way the drawing looked. There was no molding. He insisted there was molding. I told him that we'd have to agree to disagree, because I wasn't going to put up molding.

Finally, we got to the real reason they were actually there. They were worried because it had appeared that the front of the house had been finished for quite a while, but the arches and posts were not installed. They thought we were not going to put them in. We told them that we were getting bids and that we would get the arches installed soon. Once we got this straightened out, after much more glaring on the part of J and Nancy, they conceded that we could get our mailbox.

So, now, due to Nancy's bad behavior, I refer to them as Sid&Nancy. Because Nancy was such a bad influence on Sid Vicious, just like Nancy is on poor Bob.


  1. People like Nancy should be run out of town on a rail...or perhaps be forced to get deep therapy....what a control freak!

  2. So you're telling me that this is what people with too much time on their hands obsess over? Windows? I want to punch Nancy just for being stupid.

  3. Sid and Nancy need to get a life. Good job for keeping your cool. I would have whacked them upside their heads.

  4. Grrrrr! I hate that kind of crap! And to think you've had so much fun with that mailbox ever since! ;)

  5. Uh, I hate to say it but these people... it's NOT going to be fun living near them. Holy mother are they crazy!

  6. Yes, at the one block party (which occurred 2 years after this incident AND in our cul-de-sac), Nancy was still glaring at my husband. She's a peach. And, when I was voting this past year, I ran into Bob, who is a perfectly nice guy when he's not being a chauvinist. Fortunately, they live a few blocks away, so we don't run into them too often.

  7. That's effing insane. Rules gone wild!

    My oh my.



  8. DH and I often debate the pros/cons of living in a "community." I'm all for it - anything to keep neighbors from parking their cars on their lawns. He wants the option of lawn litter (if he darn well pleases). This post makes me squirm...what jackazzes! If this is what its really like, then...

  9. Some people have to get their satisfactions in life from Being Right and Making Everyone Dance To Their Tune. It can be so very, very trying. Well done for not smacking the pair of them.

  10. You know what I would have done about the shutters? I would have taken some cardboard boxes, cut them to size, spraypainted them the most obnoxious hunter orange ever, and hung them so they would look like the shutters and at the same time, sent them a letter to let them know you complied with the shutter "ordinance".