Thursday, December 4, 2008

Life lessons

Did you ever meet someone whose life was literally an ongoing soap opera? Well, I work with a woman like that. Marriages, divorces, bankruptcies, drug addictions, weight loss - you name it, she's covered it somewhere in her family. Today's saga was a classic, and so I must share.

D (the coworker) lives in a small house with her son, her older sister, and her nephew. The nephew is 18, in community college, works at a local big box retailer, and has a crazy mother (D's younger sister). The nephew believes (most likely due to his mother's way of life) that someone should provide the means for him to live like a bum and not do anything. He thinks his aunt should buy him a car, and that he should live in her house for free, coming and going as he pleases, and doing whatever he wants. Oh, and he's only going to school because that's what his aunt and grandparents expect him to do.

Last weekend, he was out with his friends and some new girl. D was very concerned because he hadn't come home on time (midnight). When he finally rolled in at 4 am, he was escorted home by the police. They also dropped off a girl (J) with him. It turns out that they all got arrested for having alcohol, and J's car got towed because the cops also found marijuana in the car. J lives in a town about 25 miles away, and it was her car that got towed. She told the cops that she could stay at D's house. Of course, D was waiting when the two of them came in. The nephew thought that it would be fine if J slept in his room with him. D informed him that it would be totally inappropriate and that J would be sleeping on the couch.

So, last night, J apparently came home with the nephew again. D woke up for work this morning and had to go through the nephew's room to let the dog out. She found J and the nephew in the nephew's bed. She then woke them both up and dragged them upstairs for an hour long lecture. Now, most people would probably lecture about house rules and respect for other occupants. But not D.

She proceeded to tell J that this was only her second date with the nephew and there was no reason to be giving it up this soon. Did she think she was in a real relationship already? The nephew was just looking to get laid - he wouldn't have any interest in her for anything else if she didn't make him wait. And by the way, what kind of dates had she had with the nephew anyway? On the first date, they got arrested and her car was impounded. On the second date, they met up after work and came back to the nephew's to sleep together. A date involves dinner and a movie. Was she on birth control? Did she have any indication that the nephew would be responsible enough to use protection? He's not responsible about anything else. He's certainly not prepared to raise a child. He can't even maintain a relationship with his family. She should not be doing ANYTHING with the nephew until he had shown her that he was somewhat responsible. He can't even pay for a date, what would he do with a baby?

I'm not sure how this all ended up, but I can just imagine the nephew's reaction. "Fuck - I'm just trying to get a little lovin' here. Why is she doing this to me?" I do know J ended up crying, and I'm sure she won't be overnighting at D's any time soon. She went for a "date" and got herself a long woman-to-woman lecture.

D usually annoys me because she refuses to take the actions that she knows will fix her problems (because she doesn't want people to dislike her). But, I have to cheer her on this time. If you can't do anything with your nephew, at least warn the people he may be screwing over!


  1. I applaud her too! I avoid toxic people like these, but it sounds like someone is putting on her big girl panties and dealing w/stuff.

  2. Ok, that is actually hilarious. Sounds like that guy is a keeper!

    Thanks for your comment on my blog, actually some of them are combined (something I dislike even more), but the AAP lists it as 25 vaccinations in 15 months. It does probably work out to fewer shots with the combos...

  3. I tagged you for a quick, fun meme, details over on my blog. Thanks so much, Martha