Monday, July 18, 2022


 Dear John,

Your stock trading made our taxes so complicated.  I did the easy parts, and left the investment stuff to you.  I always assumed you were not doing them properly.  We hadn't yet filed when you died, so the first thing I did was file for an extension and then send all the info off to my sister's friend, who is an accountant.

I am just the tiniest bit irritated today to find out that the accountant is going to do the taxes the exact same way you did them.  He said that the people who usually do that kind of filing work for companies with accountants who track that stuff.  I don't know how much I'm paying him for this yet, but I guess it's worth it, since I don't have to be the one to answer correspondence from the IRS this time.  Sigh.

In other news, I went to visit your grave today.  The VA finally got your headstone done properly.  They have the correct rank this time.  I still don't know what Arcom is, but I guess it's not important.  They did not mention anything about your service in Enduring Freedom - they left it as Persian Gulf.  That's probably where many of your problems started, so I guess it's fine.  You're between an Army guy and an Air Force guy.  Most of the graves around you are WWII vets, but the Air Force guy served in Vietnam.  I suppose you would probably give him a break on all the grief you would usually heap on Air Force vets, since Vietnam was difficult on everyone.  I left you some roses - I was hoping for a colorful bouquet from Aldi, but red roses were all they had.  I think those were your favorite flowers to receive anyway, and the red ones are for love, so it was most appropriate.  I'll take the kid back soon - we'll find something else, and maybe get a container to put them in.  

I was going to get gas while on that side of the river, but that's a state with an abortion ban, so I'm trying to limit my spending there.  Plus, the gas isn't any cheaper there than at home, for some reason.  I'm going to make the kid fill up the car, though, as you had intended for her to do with her first paycheck.  It's way past that, but I will get it done.




  1. Get a solid container for the flowers. Something stable that would be there despite bad weather. It’s worth investing.
    I very much agree to getting something done by someone else if it frees my time and mental space. Taxes for example. It was the best decision to get a tax lawyer, especially in Germany, even if it is crazy expensive. But I am worry and stress free in this respect. So that is good.
    The fact that IRS will not come to you with questions about anything is a good thing. Tax authorities are always dull.

    1. Since it's a federally-run Veteran's cemetery, with uniform gravestones, I can't install a permanent fixture to hold flowers. But they will come and pick the unsightly ones up as necessary.

      I hate to pay someone to do something I am capable of doing myself. But this time, I know that I should let someone else take care of it. I have enough to do.

    2. Oh. Right. Well.
      I’m always of the opinion that paying someone to do it for me helps me and them most of the times.