Saturday, July 23, 2022

Let's talk about sex, baby

 Dear John,

It's Saturday night.  Saturday was the day we usually had sex.  It freaks me out a bit to think that we will never do that again.  And that I may never do that again.  

My grandmother was widowed in her 40s.  My mom was widowed around the same age I am.  My grandmother never dated again, but she apparently wanted to be a nun before my grandfather talked her into marriage.  My mom dated someone after my dad died.  He was 20 years older than her, which was not that weird - may dad was 17 years older.  But it made things weird as he was farther along in aging. 

I can't imagine dating.  I will never marry again - that was a one-time only deal.  Not only do I not want to be married to anyone else, the financial impact would be significant.  I doubt I will date either.  I don't have the energy to contemplate it.  First, by the time I would be ready to date...I would be in my mid-50s.  At least.  Second, I would have to move - I'm in a land full of Trumpers, and there's no one less likely for me to want to date.  But it's scary to think that in just a few years, I will be alone as my girl goes off to college.  That was not the plan.  It was supposed to be us, fighting with each other, forever.




  1. I think about you a lot. And this post breaks my heart again. This is not how it was supposed to be.

  2. I also love Salt’n’Pepa. Love that song. Love that you used it as title.

    1. We just got to see them in concert in May - it was a friend's birthday outing. Fun, but it reminded me of how old I am.

    2. Wow, still touring?! Amazing.
      I hate the constant reminders of how old I am. And people revel and get hung up on that, seriously. When did we get that old?

  3. I am abiding with you as you contemplate dating and the alternative. So hard.