Guardian Angel?

 Dear John,

I was talking to one of the new kids at work the other day about my crazy Wednesday.  She asked me if I believed in guardian angels or that sort of thing.  I said "Well, I don't know how much I *believe* it, but we've always said that someone was looking out for us when something terrible ALMOST happens."  And there were some coincidences that suggest that you're looking out for us.

I was on the way to the dentist, and noticed something weird about the car.  The only thing to check is the tire pressure screen, and, as I was watching, the front tire was losing air.  I calculated whether I could make it to the dentist, but I was not even close, and the next exit was the last one with services close by.  So I pulled off and went to the truck stop.  As I was ineffectually flailing around, getting the jack out, and trying to figure out where to put it, a lovely young woman came over and basically took over.  I don't know what it is about me, but people frequently help me when I'm clearly out of my depth.  It's not to say that I can't change a tire - I can.  It would just take me a lot longer than it did when she helped me.  She did say it looked like it was the first time I was changing a tire...but it wasn't!  She gave me a lot of tips, though.  As usual, I forgot to offer her money.  I'm absentminded in general, but it's so much worse when I'm flustered.  I went back the next day, but she wasn't there.  

Anyway, we're headed up for our annual vacation at my sister's in a couple weeks, so I assumed this was your way of telling me that I needed new tires on the car.  S was not very happy with me, as she lost free access to the other car for about 36 hours.  Fortunately for her, I was able to get new tires Friday morning.  I think, when I got in the car on Wednesday, the song I most associate with your death was on the radio.  So, yeah, do I believe?  It's not logical, and there's no proof, but in general, I sometimes feel like you're talking to me in the only way you can.  

I went to the eye doctor yesterday, and they offered the $60 photo shoot of the back of my eye.  The incentive was that I wouldn't have to be dilated.  Of course, I said "Dilation is free!  I'll go with that."  I feel like I may have failed one of the other tests, as the young man who was doing the preliminary tests called me back out and told me that I got a free session out of them.  Then again, it may be that the eye doctor was not interested in the time involved in dilating my eyes.  Anyway, the young man and I went on to have a wide-ranging discussion covering things like pizza, Chicago, New York, and music.  Anyway, eyes are fine, so that's good news.

S and I went shopping after that - we stopped to visit your grave.  The rusty old movement that I left on your headstone after the watch show was still there.  Someone had put a flag on your grave too.  I assume that was your brother's wife.  Or maybe your mom.  Anyway, I assume they're having some sort of Memorial Day event, as there were a lot of new signs up, making streets one way and no parking on on one side of the road.  We also saw 4 deer.  And S noticed that a local landmark is visible from your grave.  

Back to my sisters, they had a star named for you for the anniversary of your death.  And my oldest sister got a commemorative brick installed at the park by her house.  You may have gone there once, but S and I were frequently sending you calls and photos and videos from there.  We'll go see it when we head up next month.

I picked our vacation date this year because I got tickets to see The Cure.  I don't know how I'll hold up when they play Pictures of You or Lullaby or Boys Don't Cry, but I'm still excited to go.  I'm taking my best friend - we went to see them when we were 17.  It was a great concert then, and from all reports, it will be a great concert now.  

I'll be thinking of you.

Love,

A