Thursday, July 9, 2009


I'm not fond of my teeth. I have large teeth and a small jaw. My teeth don't look bad, but after having four teeth removed to make room and years of braces, you'd think they'd at least be straight. When I had braces, I wore them for 2 years, and then wore retainers for 2 more years. When my orthodontist was satisfied that my teeth were settled in their final resting place, he removed my bottom retainer and told me that I could drive over my top retainer with the car.

Within a few months, my bottom teeth started to move. The front four teeth settled into a line in front of my other teeth, meaning that there is overlap. I still have a bit of an overbite, but it's not horrible. (My favorite overbite description came from Cousin Bob at my grandfather's funeral when I was 13 {and in the midst of enjoying my braces}. He told me that my overbite wasn't too bad - in comparison to his daughters who could bite walls). My top teeth stayed pretty straight, until I was about 24.

I'm naturally clumsy, and one day, while opening the car door, I misjudged the distance, and with the help of gravity, whacked myself right in my front tooth. That pushed my tooth slightly backwards. I've since managed to repeat the door incident, and then not long ago, walked directly into the corner of a wall. Given that this particular tooth is slightly recessed, I can't quite figure out why that's the one I keep hitting.

Today, I finally took action. My dentist made me a new retainer. Over the next few weeks, I will be moving my teeth around a little, so I can relocate the other front tooth to be more in line with the recessed tooth. The unfortunate part of this is that having a big chunk of plastic on your hard palate makes it difficult to talk properly. I now have a lovely lisp. I'm hoping that I'll be able to talk normally again soon.

I'm excited to be able to like my smile again. I'm not sure how long it will take. After that, maybe I'll upgrade something else. My husband is looking into LASIK, so maybe I'll go there next. I recently noticed that I have cleavage wrinkles. Given that I can barely muster up some cleavage without a serious push-up bra, I'm not sure how that came about. My hair is graying. Maybe all the running/walking I've been doing will help reshape my flabby portions. This could be a long term project - upgrading my appearance. It's good to have a hobby.


  1. There no time like the present to fix stuff. Good for you. Infertility can really take over. It;s easy to let everything else go (body, relationships, work, hobbies). Take you life back one little thing at a time.

  2. Sounds like a project you really want to do, so go for it. I started braces as a kid but my parents couldn't afford to finish. I just got used to my crooked teeth...

  3. good for you...and yeah...tell me about it.

  4. Being a woman is like the renovation job that never ends.....

  5. "Upgrading your appearance"--that's funny! I have a permanent bar retainer behind my bottom teeth, and I think my teeth implants (titanium into my jaw) helps keep my top teeth in line. I wish my non-implant teeth were whiter, but not enough to bleach them.

  6. This reminds me.

    I have a personal wish list of teeth, abdomen, bits above the abdomen that sag too much and so on :)


  7. You not want to "rush" into things too quickly. For example, my breasts have gotten so saggy that now I am waiting to see if they curl under and actually start rising again. MUCH cheaper than plastic surgery. Will let you know how it turns out! :)

  8. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Thanks for the tip, Lisa!

  9. Good for you for taking care of yourself. Cleavage wrinkles, hmm, great, hadn't thought of that one, but now, yes, wrinkles there too.

  10. I asked my dentist about fitting a brace to re-straighten all my lower teeth again, but she reckoned all the top ones would move in sympathy! Which I really don't understand, and I would really like to get them done. Also cleavage-wrinkles here, dammit.

  11. I did Invisalign in '04 on the top teeth and I was so glad that I did. It is funny that your dentist removed the bottom retainer-mine is still in after more than twenty years. It keeps my bottom teeth just the way they were right after my braces were removed in eighth grade.

  12. A lisp! How cute ... like Cindy Brady.

    Make that, Thindy.

    Good on you for the dentist .... I can't go. Too scared. My teeth are all going to fall out. But at least I will give great BJs.

    (Just kidding. I already DO give great BJs)

    Oh my. I'm sorry. It's late, I need to go to bed.


  13. Thanks for the comment on my blog! :)

    I did Invisalign a few years ago. I wore the retainer for a year, and my bottom teeth have shifted back already, the wiley bastards. That was a waste of $4700.

    I'd love to do LASIK, but I'd probably end up with ALMOST perfect vision, thus necessitating contacts anyway. (Anything less than perfect gives me horrible headaches.)

    I think I'll just let myself go, and just get a lot of ugly friends so I don't feel bad about myself. Seems cheapest and least frustrating.

    Good luck with the upgrades! :)

  14. I used to do all of the upkeep, hair color, manis and pedis, waxing etc. But now it's all I can do to keep up with the gray hairs! But teeth are important I think because of how they make you feel. After years of braces my wisdom teeth came in like 5 years ago and need to come out. I am totally putting it off.

  15. OMG, I had braces THREE times as a teenager and my teeth still aren't straight. I have this crooked tooth in front -- next to my two front teeth -- that has always refused to "stay." I've been thinking about trying again to get it fixed. I hope your dental work is a huge success. :)

  16. Right on. I think self improvement projects are fabulous. But only when you want to do them. I think everyone should be comfortable with what they've got and if something bothers you, then by all means, do it!

    I laughed aloud at "cleavage wrinkles".

  17. Thank goodness my top teeth stayed straight and my bottoms aren't too bad.

    All of my kids were cursed with my big teeth/small jaw combo. We're into the orthodontist for over $20,000.

    I hope your retainer does its work quickly.--Jenn