Summer vacation

 Dear John,

S and I made our annual trek to my sister's house.  This time, it was mostly for me to go and see The Cure with my bestie.  You would get so mad at me for listing her instead of you as my best friend.  But you were my husband - that's closer than a best friend.  Anyway, we went out for dinner and then went to the concert and it was everything I expected and more.  I was able to recapture much nostalgia from my teen years.  They played the songs that made me think of you, as well as my favorite songs and some new music.  It was an incredible show.

We also visited a friend from work and her puppy as usual.  We got to see my nephew's new apartment.  We did our usual shopping.  We walked the dogs a lot.  My other friend's husband fell off his neighbor's roof and broke his femur.  I took some food over for her and the girls.  We had to come home early, though, so S could go to work.  I'm not sure why she feels compelled to go to work all the time - she's mildly obsessed with building up her bank account.

While we were there, we drove around the campus of one university and took a tour of another.  The tour was OK - it gave S a start in considering what size school she would like to attend.  She was concerned that university was religious; she thought they would be trying to force their religion onto her.  My sister was supposed to go with us, but she had to work - it's her alma mater, and she would have been very enthusiastic and very obnoxious.  Instead, as we passed the DEI office, our tour guide spoke about all the clubs and other LGBTQ-friendly activities, and then asked "do you have any questions?"  I, of course, responded "Many, but I will keep them to myself for now."  She looked confused, as if she'd never considered the conflict between a Catholic university and LGBTQ-friendliness.  It is a very nice campus, and the school is pretty good.  S enjoyed the tour but doesn't appreciate that I have expanded her choices, as she often suffers from decision paralysis.

Meanwhile, I got a rejection letter from the VA for paying for the EMTs who came to the house the day you died.  First they rejected it for the wrong birthdate.  This time, and I thought I was going to lose my mind when I read it, they rejected it because you weren't transported, some other nonsense, IT WASNT IN RESPONSE TO A SUICIDAL CRISIS, and some other nonsense.  Seriously?!?!   I called Community Care, and they told me to call the patient advocates.  Unfortunately, I burned almost all your paperwork, so I didn't have the name of the guy you used to talk to.  But I called one of the guys at the local office.  He had me email the bill, and I sent your death certificate that says suicide right on it.  I hope he'll get it taken care of.  I could just pay the bill, but you know...principle.

Speaking of decision paralysis, I am apparently angry about car shopping.  The dealership where we got our last car called, texted, and emailed me this morning, because I was inquiring about trade-in value.  My reply started with "You all are relentless.  Call, text, and email."  I did identify our previous sales guy, who I spoke to later in the afternoon.  It seems as though my email was passed around for amusement.  I also stopped at another dealership while I was out the other day.  I told them that their website does not give adequate information about the cars - it just takes you from photo to photo while giving minimal information that I want to know.  The sales guy they sent me to basically went and found someone else to deal with me.  He was sort of helpful, in that he did the opposite of trying to sell me a vehicle.  He told me that electric cars are only good if you're never driving more than 100 miles.  The general view on battery charging - you know, the one I always refused to accept as true: don't let the battery run down or charge fully - is recommended.  He made a vague suggestion about an SUV, but then more or less walked me out.  I guess they do appointments for car sales now.  

S and I went to look at new cars.  I'm back to the same old place - you said you wouldn't buy another Nissan, but...I can't find anything else I like.  I looked at the Subaru WRX - we didn't even get in the car, because it felt like it was going to be too small.  I test drove a Kia - it was OK, but I hated the shifting.  Now I have to decide if I want a used Maxima (low miles, lots of extras) or a new Altima (more money, but even more extras).  It's exhausting, and I hate it.  But whatever...it must be done.  I don't want an SUV, though I should probably get one.  I would like a hybrid, but none of them have enough power.  I need a nap.

Love,

A