Dear John,
Yesterday, I was out shopping. I went to my favorite junk store only to find that it is going out of business. It was a place I would make an excuse to go to when visiting your grave - you'd be pretty unhappy with me for driving 30+ miles to stand by your grave for 5 minutes before going back home. So I would wait til I needed gas (it's cheaper there), and stop by the store to see if they had any new random items that I might need. It's been very annoying to get there lately anyway. The JC Penney furniture store where we bought the couches for our first house closed a few years ago, and they're redoing the little plaza and moving things around. It will now look like every other strip mall. :/ Anyway, while I was there, I was thinking about how distant you seem. How it's been so long since I saw you or talked to you. Even though I miss you, it's not as intense most of the time. It feels like you're fading in a way.
But then, S sent me a picture of the car dashboard on her way home from work last night - the airbag light is now on. According to the internet, it might be due to a battery thing. Since we're still working with an almost 10 year old battery, that's my guess. But it may also be a spring or something even more expensive. Anyway, if I didn't already have signs that it was time to trade in the car, that was it. And none of the car dealerships around here seem to have anything I want, but there is a whole street full of them over past my favorite junk store. So, maybe that's where I'm supposed to be shopping for cars - so I can have another excuse to stop by. Maybe you're still directing my life in the only ways you can.
In spite of all the rust discoloring the top of your headstone, no one has removed the watch movement. I found out that it's a custom to leave coins on the tops of veterans' graves, so maybe that's why. I'm just surprised it's still there. I hope it stays - it seems fitting to have a bit of your favorite hobby there.
I hate car shopping. I will never feel like I paid a good price for a car. I guess I'll have to figure out how to negotiate to the point where I don't feel like I've been duped. (Upon reflection, that's what happened with my first two cars that I bought before you came into my life.) Maybe I'm older and wiser now. They can't get me on financing, anyway. And trade-ins are getting good deals right now, since there's a shortage of good used cars. Maybe it won't be horrible. Who am I kidding? It's already horrible. Car sales people are stalkers and harassers. UGH.
I was just reading and responding to comments on an old post and realized that I forgot to tell you about the events when I was cleaning up the yard! I had a full post about our wildlife and forgot to mention it. The dogs were outside, barking their fool heads off, as usual. I was walking by with a wheelbarrow full of branches, and yelling at them to be quiet. Then I noticed that they were standing at one end of the patio and barking at the other side of the patio, instead of yelling at one of the neighbor dogs. When I looked over, there was a very tense, rather large snake curled up under some of the columbine. I know you would have done something different, but I just put the dogs back in the house and went back to trimming stuff, leaving the snake space to find his way out of there safely. Of course, the last snake you killed WAS climbing up a tree, and I agree that having a snake fall out of a tree onto you is unacceptable. So, if I do see this guy climbing trees, he's going to have a meeting with the hoe. But for now, he can just find a way to keep to himself.
Next time, I'll tell you about our trip to my sister's and the ongoing saga of me vs the VA.
Love,
A
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