I guess we're out of the loop

 Dear John,

I keep getting graduation screenshots from your brother's wife of your sister's kids' graduations.  I guess C is sending the livestream links to her.  I don't know who all she's sending the links to - your mom too, I think.  Maybe everyone but me.  The oldest has graduated from the School of the Art Institute, and the twins graduated from High School.  Not that I'm terribly worried about not being included - makes it easier for me to use my time more wisely at holidays.  S is still offended that your mother more or less thinks S is her cousin.  The other day, I told her that it was nice they had a good relationship when she was young, anyway.  She was not impressed.

Meanwhile, back at the homestead...I apparently woke up in The Godfather this morning.  No horse head in my bed, but there was a deer head on the front walk.  It was pretty small, so probably a fawn.  Also, there was poop near the head, on the driveway, and down the sidewalk.  I found it when I went out early to walk the dogs - the whole time I was walking them, I was laughing and saying "WHAT THE FUCK?"  When we got back, I looked across the lawn and saw a carcass - thought maybe it was just more parts from the deer.  I put the dogs inside, got the shovel and a rake and started cleaning up the carnage.  When I got to the carcass...it turned out to be an eviscerated rabbit.  Cue another round of WHAT THE FUCK?  Of course, I took pictures and posted them on Facebook.  I will refrain from adding them here though.

No one has made me an offer that I can't refuse, so I can only conclude that it was coyotes.

Dead animal total for this year so far: 3

It's a good thing I'm not particularly squeamish.  Old dog is constantly rooting around in the "garden" (you know, that place where you set aside a location to plant vegetables that is directly under a bunch of trees?  So nothing vegetable or flower-wise (except columbine) ever grows?  That garden.) and coming up with random bones.  I was looking at the strawberries yesterday, and I think there was a vertebrae of some sort in there.  

I cleaned the garage last weekend - I came out at one point and there was a lizard sitting just outside the garage.  He looked at me reproachfully, like I had just ruined his living room or something.  Sorry, little gecko, but you're not doing your job of keeping the garage bug-free.  I saw multiple centipedes in there the other night when I was taking out the trash.  I still have to clean and organize the third bay, though.

Speaking of centipedes, I found one in the fucking dishwasher last week.  I opened it, and saw something moving, so I closed it and got a napkin to smash whatever was in there (again, good thing I'm not that squeamish).  But it was sitting on the utensil tray, so I lifted the whole thing out, ran it across to the front door, and flung the little critter out onto the front porch.  He ran around in circles for a bit - I'm sure he was also saying WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!  A week later, S and I went out to walk the dogs, and there's a centipede crawling around on the first arch on the porch.  I can only assume that it's the same one and he lives there now.  

If this keeps up...I may have to move.  I am not down with being the neighborhood killing field and bug sanctuary.  

6 more days til I get to see The Cure.  

I wish you were here to fling dead animals into the trees instead of me.

Love,

A