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 Dear John,

Welp, we got a new car.  It's really a foolish purchase.  I don't need 2 cars and S could definitely live without one.  But I'm used to having full access to my car all the time.  And I want her to have a social life, which means a car in this area.  

The old car had at least $1000 worth of repairs needed.  Brakes, oil change, battery (how is the 10 year old original battery still working?!), side mirror, and then there was the air bag light that came on, which is what prompted the purchase.  No way I was paying to diagnose that, especially since it was probably a battery issue.  Do I feel bad for sticking the dealership with that car?  Well, I did, until the salesman was telling me how they were actually losing money on my sale.  Um...I doubt that.  He gave me some story about selling to a fleet with a $6000 profit the day before, which lets him give good prices to regular people.  Sure.  Invoice price was almost $3000 less than I paid, and they threw in some aftermarket plastic floormats.  OK.  I will check their website to see if they actually do the repairs or just send it to auction and let it become someone else's problem.  S was supposed to clean out the old car before we traded it in, but she left all your Johnny Cash CDs in there.  Our salesman actually dropped them at our house.  That was nice of him.  Now I have to go do some internet stalking to see how far out of his way he went.

They aren't making the Maxima any more.  And they didn't have any new ones.  All the ones they had were being driven by staff.  I almost bought a used one with 8000 miles.  But the insurance would be more, and the one I bought has a heated steering wheel.  That's really the only feature I wanted.  S is now driving my Maxima.  I have the new car.  I'm not excited about it for two reasons.  First, it's my first major purchase in 20 years that I've made without your input.  You liked to take the new cars and push them to their limits.  I enjoyed watching you enjoy the cars we've bought.  It feels pretty empty without you.  Second, I just don't really care about it.  I've been excited about the last few cars that we bought and super happy with the ones I bought before we were together.  But this is just...blah.  There's nothing else on the market I want either.  You would never have bought this car.  It's the higher end version of an Altima, and you always said the resale value suffers in comparison.  I hope to keep this one until it's time to buy electric.  Or maybe I'll buy something else in 3 years, and send this one to college with S.  

We're headed off to our Alaskan cruise soon.  I'm glad my aunt will come and watch the dogs (and therefore, the house) for us.  I worry about her driving so far, but I think she's looking at it like a vacation.  I am certain she needs the money I will be paying her, but she won't let me help her otherwise.  When her dog was sick, I told her to let me know if she needed help with the vet bills.  I thought she was going to break down when I offered.  She's very independent, so I'm sure she'll be fine.  Worst case scenario is that S and I have to drive her home.  

I was afraid the refrigerator stopped working today.  Every now and then, it just shuts itself off VERY ostentatiously.  Like, it's always making some kind of noise, and then, suddenly, it's absolutely silent.  I don't know why.  But it's still running.  I hope it keeps going.  I'm pretty fond of it.  Also, I don't want to spend another $1000+ for a new one right now.  I also need a new grill.  I suppose I could just buy burner covers so as not to char my food when cooking, but that style is obsolete and I'm sure there are more parts decomposing.  Sigh.  Do I need 5 burners?  No, but the smaller ones are ridiculously small.  The blu-ray player is acting up too.  Those are getting harder to find.  I need you here to find me the best deals.  

Your daughter just ran in with 3 minutes to spare before her curfew.  She has been trying my patience on that score.  It's nice that she's hanging out with friends.  But she thinks there are no rules.  And several of her friends live in questionable areas.  She's smart, and doesn't invite trouble, so that's good.  

I guess your brother and his family went up to see your sister in Michigan.  If nothing else, your death seems to have brought the rest of them closer.  I couldn't see your brother driving that far for vacation under any other circumstances.  

I had a sex dream about you the other night.  I really wish you were here for the real thing.

Love,

A