Always for her

 Dear John,

Now that Thanksgiving is over, your girl wants to decorate for Christmas. She put lights on the porch yesterday - she says she's going to do bushes too, as well as the light projector. She told me that she would do the lights if I would put the tree up. I know you remember that until she came along, we didn't even have a Christmas tree. I would put a string of lights on the mantel and hang my grandmother's icicles, and call it enough. I went out on the Black Friday, when she was 6 weeks old, to get a pre-lit Christmas tree because I thought she would like the lights. And we needed to have a tree to put her presents under. 

You ended up enjoying the Christmas tree and the lights as much as she did. You couldn't have cared less about Christmas or gifts or anything. But the tree and the annual viewing of A Christmas Story were your things. I guess they put out a sequel this year. I don't know if I'll watch it without you. We did watch Spirited - you would have tried it, since it has Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell. But you would have hated it because it's a musical. S and I thought it was cute.  

When I'm out Christmas shopping, I feel bereft not having you to buy presents for. You were about impossible to shop for - you didn't want or need anything. And you hated waste. Most of your gifts were food. And almost everything I would buy, you would say you didn't need. But you did, and you would eventually appreciate things like comfy socks, and soft blankets.  

Your brother's wife put a wreath on your grave. I may go out and take a look next week. Seems like something I should be doing - I do bring you flowers on occasion. I don't really want to stay in this area once S goes to college, but I really don't want to leave you either. I know I'll join you eventually, but it would be so strange to be apart from you.

I put the tree up last Monday, but we still haven't decorated it. I am having a hard time with follow-through lately. Maybe tomorrow.

S got a cold this week - I made her soup, gave her my cure-all (Advil and orange juice - works every time), and she stayed home from school. I forgot to give her your cure-all (the sock with Vick's VapoRub on it around her neck) until the second night. I did give her a zinc drop, though. I saw some Airborne in the cabinet and thought that I should have made her have some of that. You would have. She's better today, but she still has a cough. I don't know if I'm getting it too, or if I just have my cold-weather-induced bronchitis. But, with you in mind, I took a zinc drop and had some Vitamin D. Your mom invited us to a craft fair at her church tomorrow, but I had to decline due to the illness. S took a Covid test and it was negative, so I'm glad it's not that. It was a home test, though, so it might not be accurate. But she was in the thick of chills and a cough, so it should have been detectable if it was Covid.  

I found a meme that I think is hilarious - I have started using it on people. It makes them really uncomfortable, which you know I find amusing. If I'm going to be dealt a shitty hand, I might as well turn it into comedy for myself. I know we liked to say that if you're the only one laughing, it's probably not funny, but, sometimes... Anyway, here it is.

Love, 

A