Valentine's Day

Dear John,

A Hallmark holiday.  Not worth noting.  You should tell people you love them every day, not just on a made-up holiday - your take on Valentine's Day.  I still bought the smallest Valentine hearts full of chocolate for you and S every year - well worth the $1.  Because you still smiled and appreciated the thought.  This year, they're $1.24.  

 It's been 10.5 months since you left me.  It feels like only last week though.  You know what the hardest part is?  Grocery shopping.  I go up and down the aisles and see things that you would like to eat.  For a split second, I think I should buy them, and then I remember that you were the only one who liked it, and we have no need of those items.  Every aisle is a reminder.  I don't feel like eating anyway, and S is either eating chicken nuggets at work or going out to eat with her friends.  I cook stuff, and no one eats the leftovers.  I don't cook and feel guilty that I'm not taking care of S properly.  She appreciates when I cook, but she's still in the mode where she will grab a convenience food instead of heating up a bowl of homemade soup.  I guess I should prompt her to eat the things in the refrigerator when I'm at work and she's home on her own.  I'm going to make Chinese tonight.  She might eat those leftovers.  

It's time to do the taxes.  That should be depressing.  Next year, I won't have any write-offs, so I may end up owing money.  I guess I should change my withholding, but I don't know what I should claim.  My sister's friend did our taxes last year.  Poor guy was thoroughly confused by our 3 year saga of shenanigans.  Since he's an accountant, I thought he would be more thorough about your stock trading stuff, but he looked at it and...just did the same thing you always did.  He said that your election option was usually done by companies who have specially trained accountants on staff to keep track of it.  So, now I can just do that too.  This will be the first year that S has to do taxes.  I will make her do her own, so she can learn early.  

I think she might have a boyfriend.  She keeps hanging out with this boy, Mikey (Miguel).  He's in her science class.  When they switched seats for the new semester, he picked her to sit with him.  I guess she helps him study, but also, she went to pick him up and go out twice this week.  I looked him up in the yearbook - he looks like every other fluffy-headed dingbat in her class.  She tells me nothing about anything, though.  I keep asking and she keeps deflecting.

I finished inventorying all your complete watches.  There are almost 400.  I'm going to the show in May.  But I also thought about buying a little shop around here, if I can find one cheap, and selling all your stuff there.  Tractors, watches, my craft nonsense.  There was a place right on the main road for sale, but I think they finally got the business next door to buy it. My sister said I should do it, and sell her husband's photos too.  It's a thought for a post-retirement activity.  I think we know how well I do with customer service, so it would definitely be an adventure.  "Buy it.  Or don't.  Either way, stop bothering me." Guess I'll peruse Zillow some more and see if anything interesting pops up.

As usual, I miss you.

Love,

A