Where the fear kicks in...

I thought I would write this yesterday. I got a positive hpt yesterday morning. I tested on Monday, but that was too early. I wasn't going to do it again, but I had some symptoms (horrible [and for me, unusual] breakouts on my face and back, the hungries (every 3-4 hours), and the kicker...my husband upset me and I didn't start a screaming argument with him like I normally would if I had PMS) that I couldn't ignore. So I took the test.

For most people, that positive test would be the start of the wonderful journey. For me, it's just a signal to call the doctor to get my medication started and my worrying ramped up. I called the doctor and they sent me for a beta. The nurse said she would call back today to get my prescriptions going.

The problem is, they did not have my file available until yesterday afternoon. When I spoke with them today, I got some good news and some bad news.

First the good news: Beta at 12 dpo was 41. Repeat beta on Monday.

Now the bad news: My protocol for prevention of miscarriage is hepa.rin and baby aspirin. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I injected myself with hep.arin twice a day for about 7 weeks. During the 7th week, I developed a rash at the injection site. The doctor switched me to Love.nox. I developed a rash at that injection site. I was far enough along for the doctor to be comfortable telling me to stop the injections, and I have a beautiful (if extremely talkative) little girl to show for it. Now, however, the nurses cannot prescribe hepar.in because I may be allergic to it. When I asked this doctor and my regular OB, neither seemed concerned about future usage of hep.arin. I'm in a waiting game, though, to see if they will prescribe he.parin, or lov.enox or if I will be on my own with baby aspirin and prenatal vitamins.

So, happiness and fear. I thought the fear of miscarriage in spite of drugs was what I was going to write about yesterday. Now I fear that there's nothing that can be done for me. I suppose it's some consolation that most literature thinks the hep.arin is too aggressive for my mild diagnosis of ANA's and baby aspirin is the solution. It is also amazing how the body can think of new and different ways to mess with you.