Wednesday, July 17, 2013

GRAB(ook) Club: The Fault In Our Stars

I read this book several months ago, and didn't get a chance to reread it.  But I loved the book - it made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time.  It has made me a huge fan of John Green - I think I've read all of his books now.  Some are good, some are great.  This is my favorite, because the emotions he evokes seem so accurate to me.

So, a question:  What do you think about the roles (or lack thereof) of the parents in this book?

I've lived with someone who was dying.  My father had rheumatoid arthritis and the circulation in his legs gradually faded because of it.  He developed a sore that wouldn't heal, which became a gaping hole in his leg.  I didn't know what would become of that, but I knew it was not going to get better.  But still the doctors threw seaweed wraps on it and tried skin grafts and sent physical and occupational therapists - because they didn't know what else to do and they couldn't do nothing.  And so I could identify with the parents lack of real presence in this book...because there was little that I could do for my dad but sit back and watch.  To pretend that things were as normal as possible, so he didn't have to feel like I was responsible for his care, when it was still his job to watch over me (I was 22 when he died).

I believe that John Green minimized the parents as characters because it was a realistic way to portray them.  I believe that parents would have to go on with their daily lives, that they would attempt to let their children live their lives to the fullest, knowing that they wouldn't get as long a time to do so as most people.  He captured their sorrow and their frustration, but made them into great parents who knew that it wasn't about them, even though the cancer was happening to them too.

Do you think expanding the roles of the parents would have made the book better/worse/the same?

FYI, in case you cared, my preference for the rest of John Green's books are as follows:  Will Grayson Will Grayson, Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, and An Abundance of Katherines.  And he's pretty entertaining on Mental Floss.

After you answer my question, please click over to read the rest of the book club questions for The Fault in Our Stars.  You can get your own copy of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green at bookstores including Amazon.

13 comments:

  1. What an interesting question - I didn't notice they were minimized. Perhaps I was just so focused on the main character that didn't stand out to me. I did find it very interesting that her mom hid the fact that she went back to school for over a year!!! to her daughter.

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  2. What an interseting question - I didn't notice the parents roles were minimized. I was quite surprised when her mom said that she had been in school for a full year, hiding it all the time - it's almost like they tried to minimize themselves, to not be overbearing. Which I am guessing migh be the natural instict of a parent with a sick child - I would want to smother the heck out of them.

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  3. First of all, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Father. I know too well how it is to lose a parent to cancer.

    As for your questions, everyone is different but this wasn't something I even thought about while reading the book. I think it would make the book different to involve the parents more, maybe not worse. I do think the way they were involved made it quite realistic. At least that's my feel from it.

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  4. I think the role of the parents wasn't larger because they simply don't factor in as interesting to teenagers. For all the adults reading this book, their lack of presence was noticeable. But I bet it wasn't something most teenagers noticed.

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  5. Sorry, hit publish instead of enter to start a new paragraph.

    I like that I still have to read your favourites since the ones towards the bottom of your list have been read and were still quite enjoyable. There's only up from here.

    And I'm sorry about your father; the way the situation left you sitting back, simply waiting.

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  6. I didn't think the roles were minimized, but I did see how scary it would be to lose an only child and how they would not be considered "parents" anymore.

    An 8 year old son of my friends just got diagnosed with a non-operable tumor (non-cancerous) in his brain. He will be starting 65 weeks of chemo to stop the growth/shrink it. This book made me think about what my friends may go through with their son as he is their only child.

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  7. I like the role the parents played - it really wasn't all about them and their feelings, though we did get pieces of it.

    My friend's 8 year old son was just diagnosed with a non-operable brain tumor (non-cancerous) and will be starting 65 weeks of chemo. This book made me think about my friend's feelings in a different way since he is their only child...and should something happen to him, would they still be considered as "parents".

    I really enjoyed this book.

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  8. What Lollipop said in her first comment. I think the size of the role of the parents made the story more interesting, and having more of them would have reduced the book's impact for me.

    I really got a sense of their helplessness.

    22 is too young to endure the loss of a parent. (So is 122).

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  9. What happened to you father sounds very painful. It is one thing to know nothing can be done, but to see him dying gradually with nothing to make it better or to end the misery is awful.

    And you became for him what his role was supposed to be for you. I really respect your being there for him.

    I have neither read this book, nor any other title by this author. Must.note.it.

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  10. What happened to you father sounds very painful. It is one thing to know nothing can be done, but to see him dying gradually with nothing to make it better or to end the misery is awful.

    And you became for him what his role was supposed to be for you. I really respect your being there for him.

    I have neither read this book, nor any other title by this author. Must.note.it.

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  11. I lost my father to cancer when I was 27. My brother was just 16. I am so sorry for that loss at such a young age. It is a difficult thing to watch. Hugs for that.

    I think the roles of the parents were about right for any teenager-centered story. I know when I was a teenager I considered my parents background noise. :). As a parent now, the small parts with Hazel's parents, showing their grief were the most heart wrenching for me. Any more involvement in the story and it would have taken on a different feel for me.

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  12. I didn't notice the role being minimized either...but can see it now. I just loved when Hazel's dad told her, "The joy your bring us is so much greater than the sadness we feel about your illness" Like Mel, abouve, I think their presence was just enough.

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  13. Coming late to the conversation, but I agree with the consensus above. The story was told from a teenager's viewpoint & at that age, parents are sometimes more of an annoyance than central to your life, even when you have cancer, I guess. ;) It would have been a different story if the parents told it.

    I am sorry about your father. :(

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