Dear John,
Who knew that 18 years ago today was our last day as a family of 2? I can't believe our baby is about to be 18. You were so stressed during the whole pregnancy. I think the only part you enjoyed was naming her. I wanted one name, but you had grander plans. You didn't mind my name choice - it was the name of an aunt that you particularly liked. (The reason you liked her so well is a little sad. It was because she actually paid attention to you and what you liked. I don't think that was something you experienced much in your family.) Also, you liked the play of letters and numbers, and her middle name shares 3 letters with your middle name as well as your dad's first name, and it shares 4 letters of my dad's first name as well as the first letter of his last name. But you picked a word out of the Bible to use as a first name. Neither of us has ever been particularly religious, but you spent a lot of time worrying about and yelling at God. And then there was the time you let the Mormons into the house and had a long discussion with them. After they left, I told you what the more unusual components of their religion involved, and you were kind of horrified. I was amused. Anyway, back to the name, I warned you that people would not know how to pronounce it, nor would they be able to spell it. But she loves it, because it's unique and because you gave it to her.
I'm very upset right now that you're not here to see how well she's grown up. She's bright and beautiful and engaging with life. She works hard. You would not approve of my lax attitude about her access to the car and the amount of time she spends at home (almost none). But she seems to be doing OK. She will likely have her pick of colleges - she's been accepted to 8 or 10 already with no effort. Now she wants to apply to Yale and a few more that I can't afford. We'll see if she can muster up any scholarships. She got the highest PSAT score at her school, but did not make it to National Merit Scholar - only Commended. She did well on the SAT with no prep, but not Ivy League scholarship well. She's taking the ACT at the end of the month, and is taking a prep class, so I hope that will boost her into scholarship level. We're still looking at the Veteran's scholarship for the state university. It's a great school and she wouldn't be upset if she ended up there. But I want her to realize all her dreams.
That's not to say she's perfect. She's got your family genes after all and while she can be empathetic...she's pretty judgmental. I told my coworkers that it's written in her DNA - she doesn't have ATCG; she has JUDGE. She also gets pretty irritable...can't imagine where she got that from. She's impatient. (Another mystery) She's overly involved in her appearance as far as her clothing goes. I KNOW where she got that from - your family. But overall, I think she's going to be a wonderful person.
She's thinking of going into medicine. I'm not sure she has the staying power or the stomach for it. But if she makes it through, I think she would be fantastic. She has the right combination of caring and distance that would make for a good approach. She has good customer service skills, which would give her a good bedside manner. But she's looking into anesthesiology, which speaks to her desire to make people stop annoying her.
I looked at the pictures from just after she was born. I want to post the one of you, her, and your dad, taken just after she was born, where you look absolutely terrified. But I know you wouldn't approve. I wish you could see how she's turned out thus far. You'd be so proud.
Love,
A
